FRIDAY NOV 22, 2019
529 & A. Rippin Production & Jabroni Productions Present:
Canopy
Young Beasts | Moonshield | Taped Fist | Jeff Two-Names and the Born Agains | La Suegra | Naw | 10 Hit Combo | Yankee Roses
Canopy
Young Beasts
Jeff Two-Names and the Born Agains
Jeff Two-Names And The Born Agains is the best thing that has ever happened to Rock and Roll. The band was recently in the "Top 7 Newish Rock Bands That One Of Our Writers Sort Of Likes" in the annual Best of New Harrisburg (New Harriston, WV) but there is more to them than awards and national recognition...
...the story started like many other punk rock fairy tales. A youth soccer coach with little to no vocal training (Jeff Two-Names) went to the doctor for a check up and was told "Everything looks great, especially your weight, but your vocal chords are the most advanced thing we've ever seen on any human. You need to be careful...you might accidentally change people's lives." Sure enough, he got home and sung along to a simple E5 chord on guitar and the neighbors were weeping tears of joy. He knew what had to be done. Within weeks an ad went out on Craigslist:
"Man Who Really Likes The Ramones That Has The Voice Of An Angel Choir Seeking Four Fingered Auxiliary Lead Guitarist (Must Have Own Guitar Picks)"
Chef Gabe was browsing through the Missed Connections section as usual but something that day made him open a new tab on his screen and what he opened we cannot put in writing. When his coworker was opening the door and he was frantically trying to click the back button he saw Jeff's ad and looked to his left hand and there he saw four fingers. He also knew what needed to be done.
*Chef Gabe has taken a new position as CEO Jeff Two-Names Enterprises Seattle.
Enter: Rev. Kev. The two Guitar Gods mentioned above needed a solid foundation and a platform that would allow them to trade their undeniably stupefying solos back and forth. They searched all of the lands and finally found someone that fit the bill. Rev. Kev always remembers that 4 comes after 3 and knows what a paradiddle is (we assume that is some type of Spanish dessert) and to top it off he has #dadband points coming out of his ears because his kids are almost in their 30's (we think). Rev. Kev also, also knew what had to be done.
With Chef Gabe leaving to head up the westward expansion the band searched far and wide to fill in the gap...
One night whilst dodging paparazzi and rabid fans Bass Player fell to the ground clutching his knee crying out in pain due to ulcer related medical issues. Obviously, the band reacted very quickly and found the nearest pay phone to order a pizza. The last thing Bass Player needed was low pizza levels. Once the band finished the last slice they called 911 and reassured the operator that the first steps to recovery were already taken (the pizza). Like a bespectacled cheetah, Michael Doctor MD sprang on the scene and calmly said, “Hey, is there any more of that pizza I heard about? I am a medical doctor!” The guys knew then that they found the new Auxiliary Lead Guitarist. Jeff loaned the nice doctor one of his old guitars and spent hours teaching him 1/19th of everything he knew. Michael Doctor MD picked it up quickly and was soon added to the band officially because he also, also, also knew what had to be done.
Bass Player plays bass and it has four strings. We would tell you about his extra picks and cable but we don't want to ramble.
If you are interested in booking us please send us a fax with the emoji mustache guy and we will go from there.
Jeff Two-Names And The Born Agains is the best thing that has ever happened to Rock and Roll. The band was recently in the "Top 7 Newish Rock Bands That One Of Our Writers Sort Of Likes" in the annual Best of New Harrisburg (New Harriston, WV) but there is more to them than awards and national recognition...
...the story started like many other punk rock fairy tales. A youth soccer coach with little to no vocal training (Jeff Two-Names) went to the doctor for a check up and was told "Everything looks great, especially your weight, but your vocal chords are the most advanced thing we've ever seen on any human. You need to be careful...you might accidentally change people's lives." Sure enough, he got home and sung along to a simple E5 chord on guitar and the neighbors were weeping tears of joy. He knew what had to be done. Within weeks an ad went out on Craigslist:
"Man Who Really Likes The Ramones That Has The Voice Of An Angel Choir Seeking Four Fingered Auxiliary Lead Guitarist (Must Have Own Guitar Picks)"
Chef Gabe was browsing through the Missed Connections section as usual but something that day made him open a new tab on his screen and what he opened we cannot put in writing. When his coworker was opening the door and he was frantically trying to click the back button he saw Jeff's ad and looked to his left hand and there he saw four fingers. He also knew what needed to be done.
*Chef Gabe has taken a new position as CEO Jeff Two-Names Enterprises Seattle.
Enter: Rev. Kev. The two Guitar Gods mentioned above needed a solid foundation and a platform that would allow them to trade their undeniably stupefying solos back and forth. They searched all of the lands and finally found someone that fit the bill. Rev. Kev always remembers that 4 comes after 3 and knows what a paradiddle is (we assume that is some type of Spanish dessert) and to top it off he has #dadband points coming out of his ears because his kids are almost in their 30's (we think). Rev. Kev also, also knew what had to be done.
With Chef Gabe leaving to head up the westward expansion the band searched far and wide to fill in the gap...
One night whilst dodging paparazzi and rabid fans Bass Player fell to the ground clutching his knee crying out in pain due to ulcer related medical issues. Obviously, the band reacted very quickly and found the nearest pay phone to order a pizza. The last thing Bass Player needed was low pizza levels. Once the band finished the last slice they called 911 and reassured the operator that the first steps to recovery were already taken (the pizza). Like a bespectacled cheetah, Michael Doctor MD sprang on the scene and calmly said, “Hey, is there any more of that pizza I heard about? I am a medical doctor!” The guys knew then that they found the new Auxiliary Lead Guitarist. Jeff loaned the nice doctor one of his old guitars and spent hours teaching him 1/19th of everything he knew. Michael Doctor MD picked it up quickly and was soon added to the band officially because he also, also, also knew what had to be done.
Bass Player plays bass and it has four strings. We would tell you about his extra picks and cable but we don't want to ramble.
If you are interested in booking us please send us a fax with the emoji mustache guy and we will go from there.